My Journey to Ophthalmology: Embracing Vulnerability and Connection

The first surgeons were barbers.

During my clerkship year of medical school, I approached every specialty with an open mind. I wanted to prepare for my choice of medical specialty, one that aligned with my inquisitive character and passion for medical technology and surgery. The breadth of internal medicine attracted me, but the challenge of surgery was equally compelling. Before and during my undergraduate program in biology, I spent considerable time cutting hair. Haircutting was therapeutic for me. It helped me stay present, focused, and calm, even when my hands were busy. I diligently cultivated my hand-eye coordination and depth perception.

I was fascinated to learn that the first surgeons in England were also barbers—the “barber-surgeons.” I sought a specialty that matched my inquisitive nature and my love for surgery.

Discovering My Passion for Ophthalmology

During my ophthalmology rotation, I quickly recognized something special about this field. I found myself waking up earlier, trying harder, and reading more for pleasure. I often reflected on these signals. They illustrated the psychological concept of “flow.” When one reaches this state, whether in athletics, studying, or operating, time seems to stop. One becomes incredibly attentive, “in their zone.”

Whether observing microsurgery, manipulating the slit lamp, or immersing myself in the intricate details of the eye, I felt “flow” more intensely than ever before. Time stopped, replaced by sheer excitement and a yearning to provide optimal treatment. Ophthalmology captured my heart, and I knew this was the specialty where I could make my greatest contribution to medicine.

The versatile skill sets of the distinguished Ophthalmologist

The Importance of Connection in Medicine

I adore how ophthalmology requires mastering a broad variety of skill sets. These include a listening ear, a comforting touch, and soothing words. The practice of meditation, which we engaged in during our Mindfulness in Medicine group in medical school, was particularly intellectually stimulating and personally gratifying. It trained me to be a keen observer and a patient listener, allowing me to ponder life from various perspectives.

One evening at the surgical center, I spoke with a patient who was about to undergo a full-thickness cataract transplant. I noticed her uneasiness and fear. She avoided eye contact, kept her hands folded, and twiddled her thumbs. After asking the necessary questions, the resident and I returned to see her before surgery. We discovered there was more to her than just the operation. She was a mother of three beautiful kids, an accomplished pilot, and her favorite food was chicken tikka masala.

While she was scared about someone operating on her eye, our visit calmed her fears. We simply listened and acknowledged her concerns. The hugs and thanks we received reaffirmed the importance of working not only with our hands but also with our character.

Ophthalmology: Embracing Vulnerability and Connection

My central goal in life has always been to find meaning, purpose, and authentic connection with those around me. However, as a medical student, I initially felt what Dr. Brown describes as “excruciating vulnerability.” After extensive internal reflection, I confirmed what Dr. Brown suggested in her research on vulnerability. My sense of vulnerability also gave me courage—the courage to be imperfect and human.

I, along with the faculty and residents I worked with, felt that my Step 1 score did not represent who I truly am or what I am capable of accomplishing. Step 1 humbled me. It allowed me to embrace vulnerability more fully. Paradoxically, Step 1 helped me become more confident, ambitious, and relatable. I now possess the kind of drive that Dr. Brown suggests is the “birthplace of innovation, creativity, and change.”

Conclusion: A Commitment to Patient Care

Ophthalmology is not just a specialty; it is a calling. It combines my love for surgery with my desire to connect deeply with patients. I am committed to providing the best care possible. I believe that understanding and addressing the emotional aspects of patient care is just as important as the technical skills required for surgery.

Thank you for considering my application to your distinguished and competitive ophthalmology residency program. I am eager to contribute to the field and make a meaningful impact on the lives of my patients.

Ophthalmology: Embracing Vulnerability and Connection